The Frogman

So, if you haven't guessed it already, I have 80 pounds to lose. I would like to act shocked and mistreated, and throw accusations around that someone else is responsible for this fat hanging on my body. Someone else made me need all these XL clothes. Someone else made all the amusement park rides too small. Someone else made the oxygen too thin when I climb the stairs. Someone else made my jeans too small. Someone else...

Pause...deep breathing...sad face.

But, I know who did this to me. It wasn't someone else. It was me. Just me. I'm the one that kept eating candy, doughnuts, sodas, extra helpings, chips, ice cream, and hamburgers. I'm the one that didn't know when to stop eating such unhealthy and calorie-packed food. I'm the one that gained 5 pounds, then 15, then 30, then (BOOM!) 80! I'm the only one that can lose it, too. The funny thing about being unhealthy is that you do it to yourself, but everyone in your life is hurt by it, too. My kids are hurt when I can't do the active-lifestyle type of things that they want me to do. My wife is hurt when I make it likely that my weight will push me into a heart attack or stroke (and maybe, just maybe, she would like for me to look better, too).

I just looked at a picture taken this New Year's Eve. It is a picture of a big fat frog-man holding my daughter. It has to be a picture of me, but it's not how I thought I looked. I have been fully aware of how much weight I was gaining, but I have deluded myself into believing that I look the same as always. How delusional is that??

Of course, in this Facebook, Twitter, digital camera age, I've been in lots of photos. But, I've turned a blind eye to the Frogman. When he was in a photo, my eyes glazed over, and I focused on my kids, wife, tree, speck of something in the background, whatever I could focus on to avoid seeing myself as I really look.

Here's that New Year's Eve photo. Look at it. Go ahead. I've accepted that the Frogman is really me.

So, there it is. It's simple, but, oh, so hard! I have 80 pounds to lose. Saying "lose" makes it sound like all I have to do is misplace the pounds somewhere. Like, maybe, I could just bag them up and drop them off somewhere.  If only...

But, you know, losing weight is hard work.  I need to stay motivated.  I need to stay enthused.  I need to remember that the Frogman is staring at me in the mirror. 

I have signed up on Sparkpeople. They have an excellent food tracker online (mobile, too - LOVE my Android!). My goal is to lose 80 pounds by October 9, 2012. That's 2 pounds per week, for you math-obsessed people.

I can do that - you're going down, Frogman! You're going down!